The Art of Saying No
As a young woman who thrives off giving to others, putting my own needs in
top priority has been quite the work in progress, not perfection.
I started from a young age, learning the importance of serving the community and also what it meant to help out around at home with family. In addition to playing violin at nursing homes for eager listeners, my dear family had needs of its own: alcoholism, depression and divorce to name a few of the big ones.
On this heck-of-a-health journey I've been on over the last few years, I realize now that unless we care for ourselves, we will not be able to help other people.
Here's a good analogy:
During airplane safety announcements, we are told to put on our own oxygen masks before helping the person next to us. The theory is that since we cannot live without oxygen, we should get our own breathing situated first; Not die helping the person next to us.
Which brings me to my point; how saying no sometimes is crucial to our own survival.
I don't know about you, but for me, at times this has been a tough lesson to learn over the years.
Saying yes to everything was at one point my automatic pilot mode. Which has lead be down the path of burnout, multiple times.
The boss: "Bob can't come in tomorrow. Can you come in for a 5am shift?"
Me: Sure!
Mom: "Honeybunch, can you do me a favor..."
Me: Ok
A Coworker: "Not feeling well..Can you sub my class tonight?"
Me: Yes!!
..............................
Saying no to any requests, even just the thought of doing so would bring on a tremendous amount of guilt and anxiety. A Catch 22, really. Getting sick in the head and heart about things that were not serving anyone well.
Let's go back to the Balanced Bod mission statement: coaching rooted in love, self care, and the belief in better health and wellness for everybody.
Gradually, I began practicing saying "let me think about it" when asked to commit to something new.
This gave me the time I needed to really let simmer whether the commitment would help or hurt me.
Changing the way I handled what is asked of me has been instrumental to my well being process.
Now, I can say no without feeling bad, knowing that I can't do it all and having compassion for myself that it was a good decision.
We have the choice to put heart, soul, and energy into what matters most. It's not about being selfish. It's about coming to terms with limits and accepting ourselves as is.
Often us health professionals forget about ourselves because we are helping others day in and day out.
My challenge to all of us as a community is to make a little "me time" -- for you and only you, every single day.
Some ideas for you: Sleeping in, hanging with kids, cooking breakfast, meditating, going to a class..
Get to know yourself and be patient with the timing.
Saying no may not always be easy, and that right there is the challenge.
Take care of yourself with nourishing foods, mindful exercise, and deep breathing and feel how your own love and light grows stronger.
Then, share that with the world!
If you need help making yourself a priority, sign up for online training
Peace, love, and light,
Coach Cara
I'd love to know in the comments, what is one thing you are saying no to and what will you do with that time that is going to serve you well?
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